Disagree Agreeably

How do you disagree with another Christian? That's what I asked myself yesterday after thinking back on some church brainstorming groups I've been a part of. There is always a bad idea that comes up that the person who came up with it really believes in and really thinks is awesome. How do you tell them it's not without causing dissension, factions and all those other obvious acts of the sinful nature (Galatians 5:20ish)? I honestly don't know. This might seem like a light hearted example to some, but this idea extends beyond this instance. Have you ever found another Christian doing something that rubs you the wrong way? Whether it's intentional or a character flaw, it's a problem that's hard to approach. How do you tell someone that they're wrong? We need to keep in mind that we should speak the truth in grace (Ephesians 4:15), but we do need to speak the truth. One of my earliest posts on here was about flattery and I noted that not telling someone the truth about how you feel can have devastating effects, for them and others. The same goes here. If we aren't willing to step up to the plate and let people in on how we feel we can't make any progress towards helping them stop. Now that's assuming that there's actually a problem.

Often times we simply need to work it out in our own life first. Perhaps the fact that you're annoyed by someone is testament to your own selfishness. Certainly each situation is going to have different causes and different symptoms, but we need to be sure to search our own eyes for logs before we try telling other people that they have wood in their eye.

Do you know someone who doesn't know what you really think about them? Maybe it's time to let them know, to get the situation out in the light where it can be worked on together. If you keep your feelings inside it can easily turn into jealousy, anger, and other unhealthy emotions. The idea isn't that you get to vent and yell and finally tell someone off, but rather that you approach them as a concerned friend, seeking to help them. I am still trying to figure out how to do that, but one idea is using "I phrases" like, "When you say things like that, I feel like you are saying you're better than I am." Instead of, "You think you're better than I am!"

Let me know what you think about the way we hide our true feelings about others, do you think it should be made known? In what instances? Let's help build unity together!